foodtrucker:

I simultaneously want to sleep in bed forever and do everything in the world

foodtrucker:

‘it’s not cold’ said the PE teacher with a coat on

maxterbate:

maxterbate:

Why dont you guys want Yahoo to buy Tumblr?

Free chocolate milk for everyone

i have just been informed on this

geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis

sluttyoliveoil:

haha if youre bored you could kiss me idk just sayin

yugoslavic:

i had no idea this site cost 1.1 billion i bet its because of my blog 

if i marry someone attractive and our kids end up with my face i’m going to be seriously pissed